Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
