That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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