no, he came in my armpit
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
