too bad you live with your parents still
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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