Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
