she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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