Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
