I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
