Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
