So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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