My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Randomize
