We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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