I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
