I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
