You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
