Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize