Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
