at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
