It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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