hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
