Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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