SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
