I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
