Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
