Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
