if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
