pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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