you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
