So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
