I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
