My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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