I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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