is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
