There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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