Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Your penis caused this!
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