its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
