I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
