No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
