I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
