you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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