a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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