Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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