I love black thongs
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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