all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Randomize
