You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
