I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You took a bar mat shot.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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