Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
