5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
