I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
did i just pee glitter
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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