omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
