If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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