Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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