ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
