So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
