Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
