i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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