The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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